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Accepting a "no".

Remember when you were a child and you built towers with blocks? Children love to build them really high until it eventually wobbles over and CRASH all the blocks end up all the over the floor. Parenting can often be a bit like that. It starts with one small request and then builds and builds until it eventually collapses.. leaving a big mess to be tidied up.


You ask your young person to put their shoes away. They say no. You ask again. They still say no. You tell them if they don't put their shoes away there is no Nintendo switch. They tell you they don't care. And so it goes on until someone shouts or storms out (slamming the door behind them for effect).


Here is the thing. You don't have to put the next brick on the tower. You can choose to accept their "no" and put the shoes away yourself. Or you can choose to leave the shoes where they are. Young people have the right to say "no" and it is really important that they learn that, so they can set boundaries for themselves when they are older.


PS You can chat with them later about the shoes, ask them why they didn't feel like putting them away today. Maybe they had had a tough day at school? Or were tired of being told what to do by a friend or teacher? You might even find they put them away later.


Does hearing "no" bring up emotions for you? If you weren't allowed to say no as a child this might be a tough one for you. Check out how you can manage that here.




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